Something that I talk about a lot is feeling content. That feeling when you don’t need anything more or want anything more, and you’re happy with everything in that precise moment. I’m a super chilled out kinda person - if you hadn’t already noticed - but I’m also wildly ambitious and I worry a lot. There exists in my mind, an ongoing thought of “feeling scared of feeling content”.
In the competitive world of the modern age, it’s almost frowned upon not to be a career woman and not to constantly want the world and more. I finished my degree over 2 years ago and remember being wildly ambitious and determined, with naivety and shyness making their mark at the same time. But having fought through those worries, beginning my own business, (semi) forgetting about what other people thought of my decisions not to move out, I realised that even though I’m not where I expected to be, I’m content anyway. I’m content with learning tens of new things every day in my job, of hanging out with my sister (the best friend and blog photographer a girl could have), of having to take a car, bus, train and Tube to get to London, and even of taking a step back from little ol’ Aesthetic.
For me, in a sense this stems from my involvement and indulgence in the blogging community, where the sheer number of bloggers and indeed blogs overwhelms me. Back when I began penning this blog, there was only a handful of us chatting about mundane everyday things on Twitter. Today? Everyone is buzzing about XYZ press launch, the newest YSL launch, why so and so isn’t talking to so and so (and if you’re lucky, their work), and it’s SO easy to feel lost in the midst of it all. To feel like sitting at home writing and watching Netflix all day err’day is wrong and a waste.
I hate the fact you always feel like you have to be going somewhere, like the end destination is to be finished, or to be happy. But the truth is a lot of us are completely lost, and we don’t know, and that is also a state of mind, to not know who you are and where you’re going. by Lykke Li
Feeling scared of feeling content… Does anyone else feel like this? Like you shouldn’t ever have to “settle” at any point in life. That you should always be working yourself to the bone? I realised and put this to rest a few weeks ago and my oh my are things feeling good. Actually, I’m feeling even more content.
PS. Can we all take a moment to appreciate the excellent doormat in today's post?