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Daisybutter - UK Style and Fashion Blog: cable knit socks
Thoughts on blogging in which I cut myself a slice of humble pie. Photo available here

With an estimated 250 million blogs currently ruminating in the blogging community today, 10% of which are solely 'fashion blogs', whatever that may be, it comes as no surprise that the 'fake it 'til you make it' mantra has been used and worn over in many places. Some may even say to the point that the mantra is tattered and transparent.

You see, with the industry - whether we're really in it or not - comes a need for fakery. Be it with an inspired-by-Chloe pair of boots, a faux air kiss, or the atypical allusion of confidence (hands up here, I'm more than guilty of this), there's something about the ol' blogging game, isn't there?

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Weekends, for me, are spent meandering away from the digital realms that I immerse myself in for my 9-5 client work. Freelancing means that I'm ever guilty of blurring the lines between work and leisure, often slyly scrolling through my Twitter feed and worming in tales of Internet tat and memes to daily conversation, but recently I've made an effort to turn it down - or off completely.

Having done so, I've cut myself a generous portion of humble pie. So you may have XYZ number of followers on Instagram, who love seeing snippets of blog/press events and your newest lipstick or a preview of your new outfit post... but consider those non-blogging followers of your Instagram. Are you accidentally showing off an exclusive world? Perhaps you are secondhand boasting about your fashion-inclined world, the hidden undergrowth of your interests. Outfit of the days and lipstick swatch selfies are commonplace in my head but possibly not so for my real-life friends. "Look at you and your swish new life," "I bet we're no match for your XX thousand followers," ... I earnt myself a hearty bump back to Earth when I noted a few 'DB' inspired Instagram posts and real-life comments on my feed.

So sometimes I enjoy sharing my style endeavours with likeminded people on the Internet, but along the same lines of finding an amazing hidden community of fashionable faves, I've found myself guilty of bringing my blog too far into real life and realised once more that there's a whole other world outside of blogging. A crazy reality where a dress is a dress, your best friends don't care about how many likes your new post got, a lipstick comes in 'a couple of shades' and hashtags are a very, very ironic thing - but you're still their friend and a human with feelings regardless. In short, I'd been a bit overwhelmed by the online world, losing a little part of myself in the process. Ah the blogging world and reality, what a fine (so fine) line to be treading today. x

28 comments

  1. I feel somewhat the same about this, my closest
    friends react nonchalant about my blogging or
    some of them don't really care. Xx

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    1. I think my real life friends have done so well with understanding the blogging world and the part it semi-plays in the industry. Most of the time they're just a bit taken aback by the things I get to experience, because I'm such a wallflower and really, really quiet in real life.

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  2. Oh michelle this rings so true. My bestest friend really doesn't care about my blog - except when it comes to getting free make up for herself - and she often brings me down to earth with a thud. I love the blogging world immensely but sometimes it's nice to just be plain of Sophie with a best friend who thinks she's a goon and has absolutely no idea why anyone would want to see what she is wearing. It's even nice to be mocked when I post on instagram - I soon stop and concentrate on having fun in the real world.
    Sophie
    x

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    1. My best friends try SO hard to understand it and support me with it all, but I guess they think it's just a thing for writing, because of the whole 'hey, I want to be a writer' thing. The other side of it all (mostly events and social networking) is a bit baffling to them, it comes across as a bit vapid and self-obsessed from their viewpoint, even though of course they know I'm not. I try to balance enjoying real life and sharing snippets of it for my blog, but it's a tough'un! x

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  3. This is an interesting post as I was thinking of blogging about the same thing but as an outsider. I work in a less glamorous side of fashion and left a "socialite" lifestyle a few years ago and I was thinking of writing about the other side of it all. It's very difficult to separate real life and online life still. An acquaintance left a comment about how they thought I visited a new country every week, when I feel like I work 50 hours a week! I was really reminded then of the different perspectives used in the online world and it's so interesting.

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    1. Thanks Melanie! (Did I ever mention that I adore your blog by the way?! SUCH a great read.)

      I feel like I'm treading a fine line between the two at the moment because I work with bloggers and as a blogger at the same time. I wouldn't exactly class my lifestyle as a socialite one, but for my friends who have always known me as a bit of a plain Jane who is super quiet, I guess seeing little snippets of the events side of things looks like I'm showing off or have somehow managed to sneak into a dream lifestyle. A really interesting concept, right?

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  4. You're right, it is easy to get carried away. Very few of my pre blog friends (ie the ones I went to school/college/worked with) know about my blog and I like it like that, however the few that do know either don't understand it, or just wonder why I get the odd perk, and then tell me to ask for things from companies (err, holidays? yeah i'm not big time, and don't actually want to be!) I cant imagine the pressure a 'pro' blogger is under at times!

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    1. I never explicitly told my friends and family about my blog until it was pretty hard to conceal it (i.e. being invited to events and asking Mum for advice, and being shortlisted for magazine awards and asking friends/Uni lecturers about its' potential impact on my career). I think that, in some respects, 'concealing' it did me a hindrance, as if I was sneakily working towards all this?! The perks are obviously something I want to share on my social media accounts but at the same time, I worry I'm alienating my real life friends.

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  5. I tell people about my blog and while most are curious or indifferent, there was one that took the piss a little! They don't understand a lot of aspects of it and I think it's a good thing in ways - it's nice to be brought back to the 'real world' sometimes ;) xx
    www.LaurasHaven.com

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    1. Most of mine are indifferent because they don't 'get' the fashion industry thing. I've maintained since I was 14 that I wanted to be in this industry and now that I am in my day job, they quietly assume my blog is the job. Le sigh! A lot of it quite hard to comprehend I guess, I just felt at one point that I spent a lot of real-life time trying to justify my social media moves haha!

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  6. i totally agree that it is easy to get carried away in the online world and it's important to be able to divide it from reality but at the same time when online friends start to become 'real life' friends and blogging does become a bigger part of your life i think it is more difficult to find that line....it definitely is nice though to do something every so often without whipping out your camera or updating twitter :) x

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    1. Definitely. I have so many online friends that I pop out for dinner with nowadays, it's just so lovely to have met so many like-minded people. It's difficult to balance the two when my real-life friends think I'm prioritising people who are kinda 'not real', hence my thoughts on trying to switch off a little and make more of an effort with them.

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  7. I've written something about this just today - I went to see my friend's play which discusses how the internet world comes into play in everyday life, and it kind of spurred me to write about it too - although I ramble about it a lot more than you do! http://www.rebelangel.co.uk/2013/10/the-only-way-is-chelseas-review.html

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    1. Ah I'll definitely have to go and have a read Sian! (:

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  8. I know exactly what you mean! I spend quite a lot of my time on the internet either blogging or on social media sites such as twitter, instagram etc whereas some of my friends don't so they find it a bit weird that I write about and photograph everything. I think it's easy to get sucked into this online 'world' and forget that not everyone photographs all the new products they've bought and then shares it with people all over the world. I'm trying to spend more time in the 'real' world now and to not get caught up in the blogosphere :)

    Charlotte x

    charolivia.blogspot.com

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    1. My friends find it odd that I photograph everything too, especially now that I've been making a little more effort to snap lifestyle pieces. As I've always wanted to be a fashion journalist, my real-life friends now think that my blog is what I wanted to get into... complicated as I do adore it, but it's just one thing after another ;) Some of my online mannerisms with products and outfits seem to spill over into real-life too, my friends just don't get some of the phrases and raves about blogger cult products! Woe is us, eh?

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  9. I really enjoyed this post. Sometimes people get too caught up in the online world, and suddenly every click has a huge meaning. I have only told my closest friends that I have a blog. It's a small one with few followers, but I write because I enjoy it and not solely because I want to gain recognition. It's just nice to write what you want and find people who think the same as you. I'm very lucky in that my close friends are supportive of me, and it's them who laugh at me when I rave about a lipstick or a new dress - but in a good way.. they see how much I enjoy what I do, and it makes me happy that they are happy for me.

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    1. Thanks Priscilla!

      I think for a long stretch of time this year, I got really caught up in the online world. I started my blog at Uni to keep myself focused on the industry, but had my friends, housemates, etc. to ground me and remember real-life was there too, and since leaving, I've driven all of my efforts online. Staying in touch has been easier but I almost feel like I'd alienated them at some point with the cross between the two worlds! Thankfully nowadays they're supportive if not confused, but on the whole, I'm happier now that I've eased myself back a little.

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  10. This is such a lovely post. Hardly anyone knows about my blog, and when people ask what I do in my spare time I'm not really sure what to tell them. 'I sit looking at what lipstick other people like and what new skirt they just bought.' I love blogging, and actually feel most like me when I am, but every now and then it's nice to forget about it for a little bit x

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    1. Thanks Fern.

      I can't really remember what I did in my spare time before blogging. I probably left the house a whole lot more and... looked at my clothes?! ;) I'm still trying to strike that fine line but at the moment I'm quite content now that I've eased myself back and am blogging what I like, when I like.

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  11. A wonderfully profound post Michelle, and something i think all bloggers, whether they be old hands with five figure GFC counts or still jumping with joy over their 10th need to take in. It's strange how we who spend large amounts of time online forget that their are people who check fb and twitter twice a day and then have these whole lives outside of the internet.
    I found that when coming to uni, I was put in halls with girls who thought the internet was for facebook and wikipedia and had no idea that blogging even existed and it was very strange to try and explain why it was a relevant thing to do... It made me rethink my priorities really, I have in the past, for example, bought things because I *thought* I wanted them, when in reality I really just wanted to show them off on my blog. Which for a girl living on a student loan is a really daft thing to do.

    I love blogging, but as you said, sometimes we get drawn back down to earth and realise that real life is happening all around us, not just on the internet and we're doing ourselves a disservice if we forget that. x

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    1. Thanks Bella. I just needed a little time to ground myself really! I'm a super quiet, laidback person, but felt that online, it just wasn't translating that way anymore. Sometimes it's harder to separate the two but recently I shook up my priorities and realised that my real-life friends shape me as the person I began presenting online. I definitely get you with the shopping thing: thankfully I've fallen out of buying all of the hype products nowadays and got back to the real world and making more conscious decisions!

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  12. i really love your blog design how have you made it ? or where have you bye it? <3 :P

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  13. Such a wonderful post! I've loved seeing you and your blog grow over the years, you really do deserve all the good things in the world because you work so hard!

    I really can't remember what I did before I started blogging, only that I think I was much lonelier. I don't really have tonnes of friends around here & we don't see each other all the time, but I'm lucky that those I do have are always really supportive; they have the things they love and choose to spend their time doing, I have mine and although we may not completely understand why the other loves doing their thing, we're respectful and take an interest in each others achievements.

    Earlier this year they were integral in reminding me that it doesn't matter how many people subscribe to my blog, instagram, twitter etc, I love writing for me and I should feel incredibly honoured to have the readers I do have - they're good eggs!

    I'm not super into other forms of social media, I rarely look at facebook & twitter isn't really my thing either - I think I'm destined to be quiet when it comes to all forms of communication. In a way I've kept myself fairly removed from the blogging world, I've never attended an event (too shy!) or even met another blogger in real life. I used to think this was a bad thing and I probably should push myself a little more, but I think I quite like being a wallflower. <3

    Jennie xo | sailorjennie.com

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    1. Thank you so much Jennie - I can safely say the same in regards to you and your blog!

      I honestly can't remember either, other than spending a lot of time writing short stories and faux features in preparation for my amazing writing future ;) I've had only had a small handful of close friends but I remember seeing them SO much more than I do now. I feel half guilty for indulging in blogging and the events that go around it, hence why I'm happy I've reached a happy medium. We all have our own interests but now all find the time to see each other too. Oh gosh Jennie, I'd love to meet you! Meeting bloggers and being actively involved in the community has just done wonders for my little confidence, it's definitely played a huge part in shaping who I am. But on the hand, it's still absolutely fine to do what you want as well. x

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  14. This is such an interesting post, I know that my colleagues, family and friends read my blog but are still bemused by it and when they comment on it you realise just how bizarre a concept it really is!

    Maria xxx

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    1. Thanks Maria! Mine try very hard to understand but always wonder somewhat about my mysterious second life haha!

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  15. This is a really interesting perspective. I do get this little reality checks sometimes, but I'm lucky in that a lot of friends read a lot of blogs, so do 'get it' even if they don't blog at all. My best friend often reads my blog on her lunchbreak, and my boyfriend never misses a post. But yeah, I had a reality check trying to explain what the hell I do to a friend's new boyfriend. He clearly thought I was very odd!

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