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daisybutter - UK Fashion and Style Blog: london, cobbled street, brick lane, iron cast fence

If I had to describe myself concisely in just one word - other than short! - I'd probably choose introvert.

I've always been painfully shy, and more or less invisible in large groups, but much as people choose to list that as a flaw and something that I should improve, there's nothing I like more than my own space and simply blending into the background. Honestly. An introvert isn't someone who is wildly unpopular or socially inept, although I could probably say those are also personality traits of mine, introverts simply energise by being by themselves as opposed to surrounded by others.

More and more frequently, I've felt distant from my friends and the people I surround myself with on a day to day basis. There's nothing that feels better than getting home, into my pyjamas and having a good few hours of down time to recharge before attempting work and getting on with things. I honestly feel so drained after spending more than an hour or two outside of my comfort zone, and find it fascinating how people work in such different ways. Most of my friends are social butterflies, to put it simply: work hard, play hard and do it all in abundance.

As a University student type, I'm always questioning my choices to just stay in on Drink the Bar Dry nights at the Student Union, to chill out on my own with Take Me Out instead of take myself out with the girls, or to blog and concentrate on my career path instead of crawl on a path of bars and clubs. It finally clicked the other week though - I shouldn't have to pretend that I'm always out at clubs X, Y and Z, I'm perfectly content with a cup of coffee, plenty of blogs and Youtube videos lined up, or a good book. I'm fine with "talking" to people over Twitter and my blog instead of face-to-face, and there's nothing better than getting to meet up with fellow, like-minded bloggers at events once in a while. This is just how I like to spend my time and energise and inspire myself.

I'll probably hover over the Publish button for a while before you get to read this. It's weird having so many people know who I am (or perhaps you wouldn't recognise me in a sea of faces!) when I've become quite accustomed to blending in and being forgotten about altogether. My blog is a place to document things that I don't necessarily get the chance to chat about in real life.

So hello Internet friends, please feel free to stay a while, and do share your thoughts on the introvert vs. extrovert business! What kind of person are you? Am I the only one who used to/still does feel awkward when their lack of social life becomes quite clear? 
If this post interested you, for a little further reading, Bee of Vivatramp has written an inspiring post about coping at University, while Ashleigh of ASHLLYD wrote a post about social anxiety and feeling out of place. Jade of A Little Lipstick has also posted a great post about her initial experiences at University.

79 comments

  1. I am absolutely just like you Michelle, in fact I only had one friend where I used to live, and the only friends I ever actually spend time with are the friends I've met through blogging. And I'm not one for going out/staying out late and getting drunk, either. Being an introvert is cool! Don't worry, you're totally not alone x

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  2. I cannot explain to you how brilliant this post is. I think you and I are really similar. My friends just love going out and drinking, and view me as strange when I tell them that that's really not my thing. I prefer to be alone with my own thoughts, a hot drink and a book. Nothing made me feel better then realising that and feeling the weight lift off my chest.

    Brilliant post :) xx

    http://whatalinasees.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you Alina! I feel almost pressured to be going out until all hours, but mostly because most of my real-life friends don't really enjoy staying in as much as I do. I do still enjoy going out for the odd drink, or for meals, but had an awful experience with my drink being spiked that's put me off nights out for a verrry long time! (:

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  3. Love this post Michelle, I'm totally with you on it all xx

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  4. I've touched on this in my post that is about to go live, too. Hahaa, oh great minds! Like I say in that post, I choose not to follow the crowd for my health and happiness. I am incredibly similar, yet I'm a social butterfly when it comes to life. I thrive off of people in social situations in order to feel better about myself when I am left on my own. Does that make sense? :/

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    1. Great minds indeed ;) I'm relatively happy when around tighter-knit groups of friends, but at the moment, find it really draining to be around people who aren't my best friend/housemates/family. I end up feeling like a black sheep at Uni when I'm not even included in plans at all anymore! And definitely, I understand what you mean, I can be the same! xx

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  5. This post was really sweet :)

    I'd like to think of myself having a balance in life where I am able to enjoy other people's company but I do prefer to sit indoors with a good book or trashy tv :) As I'm getting older and into the dreaded 'job market' I find myself seeking my own company rather than others as they've all moved away for jobs etc. You're not alone! Be happy with who you are :D

    xx

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  6. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing things differently to others. I always start out shy with new people and then become the loudest, most annoying person ever (ask my uni friends haha). I also much prefer staying at home and reading blogs to going clubbing and other things. We're all different and we all enjoy different things right? haha! Hope you're well! x x

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  7. I do love going out and socialising sometimes, but then other times I really don't want to do anything other than snug up in bed with a cuppa and a book, or blog posts, or dvds, or music! But I know how you feel about being distanced from friends, I feel like uni work is slowly dragging my friendship group apart. But then it'll be over soon!
    If you just want to stay at home, then do it because life's too short to pretend to enjoy something that you don't! :) x

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    1. Such brilliant advice Em, 'life's too short to pretend to enjoy something that you don't' (: I always feel so awkward with groups of people, mostly at Uni at the moment because I'm so out of the loop, that I prefer to avoid the awkward feelings altogether! I'm much happier personally since stepping away from the 'going out' scene. xx

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  8. Such a lovely post, I'm definately an introvert and can relate to all of your post! I would rather spend my days at home with a mug of hot chocolate and Harry potter to read. Especially on cosy, rainy days like these! x

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  9. I can relate to this so much. Everyone thinks I'm weird because I havent explored the night life of Lancaster (Im at Lancaster Uni) and it just doesnt appeal to me. I hate how people are when theyre drunk and I dont like being surrounded by so many people. It makes me feel so on edge. I prefer my own company and even my boyfriend doesnt understand it. I much prefer being left to my own devices. I can just really relate to this. I much prefer doing essays to going out! xxx

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    1. Oh don't get me wrong, I explored the nightlife here in Soton ;) it totally isn't for me! It took a really bad experience of having my drink spiked to just completely remove myself from the situation though. I never enjoyed going out, but did it just because I almost felt obliged by my flatmates in Freshers? I've always preferred my own company, and my Mum knew from the start that I'd be happier 'on my own' at Uni haha! My ex-boyfriend was quite the introvert too, we'd have the best time just on our own for days hahah! Not to sound like hermits or anything (:

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  10. i absolutely agree michelle - after a rocky start to university i find it really difficult to be a social student and given that it's rare i ever drink alcohol i find nights out EXHAUSTING as i don't have anything to keep me going as it were. especially in third year when the work is so intense, i find it easier and better for me to be in my room comfortable and getting on without putting myself through situations i feel uncomfortable with.

    don't get me wrong, i love the odd night out and i love going out for dinner/cocktails with friends but often work/money restricts my ability to do this so i'm often in my own company. being comfortable with yourself and your own company is wonderful though, because you can trust yourself to look after yourself properly. there's no need to pretend for anybody else.

    lots of looove. xxx

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    1. Oh I remember reading a post on your blog about something similar actually, Jade! I find nights out exhausting too. I don't drink much (or at all), and often feel out of place when everyone is out of their minds :P I love being alone with my own thoughts as much as I love spending time with my friends, it's mostly public social situations that complete drain me! xx

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  11. so much love for this post! whilst i do like to go out quite often, i'm equally as happy to stay at home in my pyjamas with something good to read/watch/eat :). quite handy since i'm a poor student! also, i respect you for concentrating on your career path & wish i could do the same!xx

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    1. Thank you so much Shanice! I think there's such an awful stigma attached to those who like to be alone, and who are introverts. I hate being told to 'come out of my shell' when I really would feel so awkward in doing so (: I think being career-focused has also impacted on the way I look at things!

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  12. Your post definitely struck such a chord with me; I started university in September and spent a large part of my first semester feeling considerably out of place - I find going out to clubs and bars with the other freshers quite tiring, but felt I couldn't really socialise properly without joining in and immersing myself in that kind of student 'culture', but I think, entering into my third semester, I am finally starting to find a balance between forcing myself out of my comfort zone, once in a while, and admitting when something's just not my 'scene'.
    As for blogging, I love 'meeting' people online, over twitter and through blogger, but I find events seriously intimidating, because I'm far from the social butterfly I perceive a lot of other bloggers to be - it's so great to read this kind of post from someone whose blog is so successful, though, and to know I'm definitely not alone!
    Thank you for having the guts to post this! xx

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    1. Wow thank you so much Francesca! I felt almost obliged to be joining in with the bars and clubs scene, and while I did really enjoy it at the time, it didn't ever feel like 'me'. It was part of already being 100 miles out of my comfort zone and trying out something that I hated (: aw I adore blog events, they're the only public social 'thing' I do atm, because us bloggers are all so like-minded, as these comments show! PS. I wouldn't say my blog is that successful haha ;) xx

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  13. I completley understand how you feel, I am an introvert! I also struggle a lot in crowds as I am really shy but at the same time I can be comfortable with living a quieter life.

    I overheard one of my bosses talking about the new intern (who will replace me) and how it will be good if she gets invovled with all the other interns and goes out with them and I was so annoyed! I never felt the need to get too involved with the interns here, I am sociable with my colleagues and can communicate with them fine but with the interns they are all into big drunk nights and hooking up with eachother and I prefer to distance myself from this mentality as it is unprofessional in a work envrionment in my opinion and am frankly so annoyed that this is considered a flaw.

    I enjoy a night out as much as the next person but I am completley content with my own company and do not think this should be considered a bad thing!
    Great post
    xxx

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  14. Aww man, I just wrote a massive comment and pressed another button by accident :( ANYWAY, my friends don't get it when I say I hate going out, luckily my best friend is exactly the same and so is my twin sister, so we enjoy spending time in our pj's, eating good food and watching programmes like UK border force haha! I detest going out clubbing and dread it when I've been invited and feel obliged to go, I really don't like hanging out with stranger I don't care about, men leering and staring at girls, and seeing drunk people make a fool of themselves. Don't get me wrong though, every once in a blue moon I love getting my boogie on, but that's very rare, I'd say I go out clubbing once a year...if that! I totally agree, being introvert doesn't mean being social inept, it just means we enjoy our own company (or company with those of similar views on going out) and there's nothing wrong with that at all! xx

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    1. Ooh I know just what you mean! I think a teeny bit also comes from the Chinese culture, not to generalise at all, but most Chinese girls are quite stay-at-home? My parents hated it when I'd ask to go out to a bar, etc. but when I was a few years younger, I'd feel as though my friends would ditch me if I didn't go along. A few years later, now though, pass me a duvet and cup of coffee ANY day! xx

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  15. I'm definitely the more introverted type, and I hate that being introverted is seen as just lacking what extroverts have! I do love going out with my close friends but I really hate situations where there are a lot of people I don't know, like big parties and going clubbing, drinking etc. I even feel uncomfortable when I'm forced to make conversation with only one or two people I'm not close with. I definitely feel awkward when people ask me what I'm doing on Friday night, when they expect it's something social and all I've got planned is a date with my computer, haha. I only became really aware of my introversion after I started uni - I'm doing medicine, so there's always this major emphasis on personality & interaction skills and it seems to favour extroverts a lot more.

    That was my little introverted-person rant, haha. Also, have you seen the "10 Myths about introverts" list? Every one of those points rang true for me.

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  16. I think I'm quite introverted too but I do enjoy going out sometimes with friends - unfortunately I have one friend who I feel looks down on me because I enjoy it, and she feels superior for being 'different' and staying in. I think it's important to remember that no-one should be made to feel bad for what they enjoy, whether that's going out or staying in.

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    1. It's definitely important that people should feel comfortable doing what they enjoy (: there's such a stigma attached to being an introvert and extrovert in fact, people should embrace who each person is!

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  17. Ahh what a good post! I definitely feel the same about going out, I probably go clubbing once a term because I do like dressing up and having a bit of a dance but I always end up going home earlier than most other people - I just get so sleepy! My friends know they can't force me to go out with them or anything, and none of them ever make me feel bad for not enjoying going out. There definitely were people in first year in halls who would look down on people who didn't want to get super drunk every night, but those kind of people really aren't worth any time, let people do what they like! xx

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  18. Couldn't agree more! I've always liked my own company! However there are 2 sides to me I suppose:
    I can be the life and soul in a group, but if I'm honest it's all a bit of an act and I come away from the situation feeling completely drained. I think I'm naturally quite shy but others have said, "no way" you're really confident. I guess I can turn on the chatty side if necessary?!
    Everyone is different which is a good thing, but since entering the blogging world I've noticed we bloggers are a certain "type" of character.... the one you've described above!! :D xx

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  19. I pretty much agree with your post and all the above comments. Only just realised I don't have to do things I don't enjoy just because it's the weekend! x

    xkerryw.blogspot.com

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  20. I'm a mix of both I think- sometimes I prefer staying in but I do love going out as well. Depends on the mood I'm in!


    Just to let you know, the giveaway I'm holding tomorrow ends tomorrow, so if you want to be in with a chance of winning a Benefit Erase Paste (among other things!) then click here!
    xxx
    http://laurenrmilor.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/late-100-followers-give-away.html

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  21. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert, I hate that some people mark it as a flaw. As long as your happy and you're being yourself, then it doesn't matter. I think most people would put me down as an extrovert, I'm very loud and chatty and can talk easily to anyone, but then again I like to have time on my own to be quiet and recharge myself, if I'm around people too long I get irritable! xx

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  22. ahh I'm like that too, I don't go out, I don't end up drunk somewhere or whatever. I like to get in my pj's and watch my favourite shows or blog / reading blogs. Or going to the city with a friend, I prefer spending my money onto clothes instead of drinks! I do love to get a drink with a couple of friends, but I don't do it a lot.

    I get shy too when I meet new people when I'm alone but not when I'm surrounded with friends then I'm crazy and outgoing haha!

    xx

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  23. Lovely post. I think, personally, I am a mix of this and every other 'extreme' personality. Constantly finding new quirks and habits (some which I like less than others!).

    Besos,
    Lela
    Fashion Blog - Lela London

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  24. I loved this post. I'm so glad I'm not the only person that sometimes just wants to spend time alone and do things I want to do rather than forcing myself out to be social and pretend like I'm enjoying myself when I really I just wanted to curl up and finish the current book I'm reading or whatever. I'm pretty shy at times, I'm not great with new people and sometimes the thought of forcing myself to be social makes me cringe because I'm just not in the mood. Thank you for reminding me that you don't have to be out getting drunk, going wild, and being the centre of attention to be having a good time, it is ok to be alone.

    xxx

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    1. Thank you so much! I sometimes feel as though being social is forced too, I just get so tired when I'm around lots and lots of people. I always worry about what people think of me (not in a vain way), but y'know when sometimes you say something to add to a conversation, and it's met with an awkward silence? That. All the time! :P xx

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  25. Lovely touching post! I understand 100% what you mean as I too can be shy when put in awkward situations and sometimes try to avoid going out partying because I honestly just love chilling out in my 'comfy clothes' catching up on blogs, watching gossip girl (of course!) and eating yummy food! x

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  26. I don't think there's a wrong or right way to be-you're who you are and that's that, if people don't like it then that's their problem! I'm probably inbetween extrovert and introvert (if that's possible)- i love to have my own space and like you I sometimes can't wait to get home and into my pyjamas and just not talk to anyone for an hour or so-i think that comes from my job though which is very much around being a 'people person' which I am to some extent. Everyone is different-if we were all the same, the world would be boring! x

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  27. This post really struck a chord with me. I used to make excuses about why I wasn't out in town every Friday night, now I tell the truth (politely!). I simply don't like it, and I won't force myself into pretending I'm having a good time because that's what is expected of me. I'd much rather be in bed with a good book, or browsing the blogging world, or in the kitchen cooking for my friends. That's just me and I'm cool with that :)
    R xx

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  28. I'm most definitely an introvert. I do enjoy going out with people and I did spend a lot of time going out in uni with my friends (which I did enjoy) even if I didn't drink sometimes. I think this was the whole 'I don't want to miss out' thing and I do love dancing. However growing up as an only child, I was used to amusing myself so grew accustomed to my own company, whether I was online or reading a book. I still enjoy my own company from time to time.
    In social situations with people I don't know, I can turn into the awkward turtle. Everytime I meet someone new, I do this whole 'whatever I say, they're not going to like me/they're going to make fun of me' so I come across as extremely shy and I really struggle to make conversation with people. Sometimes I think my twitter belongs to my polar opposite as I tweet way too much.

    Thanks for this post Michelle :)

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  29. Brilliant post Michelle, be proud of who you are! You're certainly not alone in regards to how you choose to live your life. :]

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    1. uugh! i made a mistake in the previous i comment i left but i forgot to copy and paste the bulk of it! Gaaah! Just wanted to say that you're not alone in how you feel, I can relate to this and I can learn a lot from this blog post. xxx

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  31. You are not alone lady! look at all these replies! ;)
    I describe myself as exactly the same, if even a little more extreme! I'm content being alone, the only other person I spend any time with is my boyfriend, and he's like me so it's dandy.
    This first year at uni for me has been so eye opening into how different I really am! I've not been 'out' with my flatmates once, they've given up asking actually..
    I just don't know how to react around people really, I'm such an oddball, I say the strangest things without even thinking! and feel so uncomfortable in party situations or with anyone I don't know.
    Sometime's I regret this, especially recently, I've lost contact with most of my friends from college and don't have many here, so I think that's affected me a lot and made me feel a bit lost and lonely!
    Gosh I'm telling all to a stranger, well, a fellow blogger so it's okay :)
    Atleast you know you're not alone, introverts unite! xo

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    1. I know, it's overwhelming!

      I'm in exactly the same position as you, albeit about two weeks away from completing my degree ;) I'm not invited out anymore because I've declined so many times hahah! It's frustrating at times because I'd hate for it to come across that I don't want to spend time with people, but crowded social situations are so draining, I prefer meals out or coffee dates! xx

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  32. I wouldn't call myself an introvert. In fact there is nothing I like more than going out with the girls and I have to admit, dry the student union bar dry at the end of Summer term, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate an introvert. It is all about balance and sometimes friends are here to balance each other out. What I'd hate though is for you to pretend you are someone you're not. If staying in with a cuppa makes you happier than (drunkenly) dancing the night away, so be it! As long as you are happy, I'm sure your friends understand that and let's be honest, you're probably the one they envy the morning after! ; ) xx

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  33. i love this post, you're certainly not alone.
    i definitely am an introvert and i'm sure a lot of my friends think i'm boring and anti-social etc for not going out all the time, but that's just who i am & i'm not going to change that for anyone.

    xx

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  34. I feel like you are describing me, I'm most definitely an introvert person. Content with being alone, staying in reading books and blogs, listening to music and watching a good film to relax. Of course I like spending time with friends and going out for a drink every now and then but I don't feel like I have to. You should not feel awkward about who you are, everyone is different and as long as you are happy that is all that matters.

    Natasha x

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  35. I think I'd be a mix between an introvert and extrovert; mainly because if I'm with friends I will be more inclined to go out with them and chat away and be silly. However, if someone asked me when I was probably just relaxing slobbed on my sofa with a cup of tea, I'd prefer to stay that way then go out all night, feeling horrendously hungover the next day, and be left feeling pretty tired! Being at uni made me realise that I'm more of the 'quiet type' than I thought I was, and that I probably would take staying in all cosy on the sofa, over going out on the town - any day. And I'm happy with that, and hopefully you are too! Although I often feel pressured by friends to join them on nights out, at the end of the day, if it's not something that you're 100% happy with, and would rather be doing something else, then why should you have to go? We totally need to bring PJ parties back!

    Lou xx
    Bits & Bobs

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  36. You've pretty much described me in a nutshell. I do feel like when my friends are back home for Uni that I have to go out, socialise and dancing the night away. But for the most part I feel like the Mother Hen within my friendship group when we're out, looking after everyone and generally making sure I get home sober and in one piece. And to be honest some of the best nights out I've had with my friends are the ones where I've been completely sober.
    As a University student you're constantly bombarded with the idea that you need to be out all the time and come home with a hangover. It's not easy but I've learnt, over the past year especially, that it's completely fine to be introverted. I'm naturally shy too and I feel like on day-to-day basis, there's nothing better than getting home and putting my feet up with my laptop, music or a film and trawl the internet for a few hours, or getting immersed into a book. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
    This was a wonderful post Michelle! Don't worry about laying it out there on your blog, that's what blogs are for :D xoxo

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    1. Oh the Mother Hen! <3 I do feel like that too, I always feel like 'the boring one' that no-one notices whenever I do go out. (Good ol' Bedford Place...!) Gosh I just love sitting at home, catching up on fandoms, watching a good Kdrama and not talking to anyone for a few hours hahah! xx

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  37. I'm definitely an introvert like you Michelle. I've always found it difficult to open up to people in real life, or to be one of those loud, outgoing people who are at every party; always the centre of attention. I guess that just isn't me. I have difficulty talking to new people, and I always come across as awkward, but somehow I always find it easy to say whatever I feel on my blog or on Twitter. It's strange, but that's just the way I am.
    I don't think it's necessary to party and drink till the sun comes up in order to have fun. Fun to me, is being surrounded by my closest of friends and just enjoying their company, regardless of where we are. You could be at the most amazing or exciting place on this Earth, but being unable to share the experience with close friends or family would make it a whole lot less enjoyable. It's difficult to feel like you're drifting from your friends because you have different interests or focuses, but if they were a true friend, things should work out regardless. It's all about making an effort with each other, particularly when it's needed most.
    I really enjoyed reading this post Michelle :) It reminds me that it's okay to want to just hide from the world for a while - we all need time away to relax, and there really is no better way to love yourself than to do exactly what makes you happy :)

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  38. I preferred to piss my student loan away in Topshop that in the uni bar - i'm not an introvert as you may know, i just dont see the point in getting rat assed every weekend/day - would i have achieved that first class honours? i'm all up for the uni lifestyle though, but living at home, i didn't want to get off my head in Elephant and Castle, i wouldnr even wanna spend there too long sober.

    INTERNET FRIENDDDDDDD xxxx

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    1. INTERNET FRIEND AND I LOVE YA <3

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  39. I feel like you've just totally described me! I like it though and have found people with similar interests and feelings as me through my blog and twitter.

    My school friends were the complete opposite to me and just couldn't understand why I'd prefer to stay at home, watch a film and order a pizza than go out and get so drunk you can't even remember any of the night to begin with.

    :) xxx

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  40. We are definitely the same Michelle (but you probably already know that as I wrote a similar post awhile back). The thought of attending things like blogger meetups and events scare me so much, especially when I see the posts people put together a few days after an event when there seems to be a sea of girls! Agreed with the going out/staying in thing too. I only went clubbing for the first time (I'm 19) a couple of weeks ago. It was alright but not really 'for me'. I definitely prefer coming home from work/college and just chilling in the bath with a mug of hot chocolate and a film after or a spot of reading. We should meet up for a coffee (although it would be something not hot for me!) or something soon :)
    Ashleigh x

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    1. I've linked your post in this (: just updated it!

      I think blog events are slightly different because we're all SO alike in different ways. In the blogging community, there's no stigma attached to spending-348975-hours-a-day (lolz extreme) on Twitter! I remember turning 18 and forcing myself to go out with my friends in case they all left me behind, which is such a silly mindset, thinking back on things! Nowadays we're ALL coffee and film girls ;) oh that would be lovely sweet, definitely over the summer or something (: xx

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  41. I loved this post Michelle, I think you have described me perfectly too! As a first year Uni student, I sometimes feel a bit out of place in halls, where most of my flatmates are heading out on the town every other night of the week. I'd much rather stay in with a cup of tea and a good book, too :) xxx

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  42. This post is great and so refreshingly honest :)
    You've definitely described me, I really dislike that we seem to live in a world that values extroverts more than introverts. I used to absolutely hate it when I was told to 'come out of my shell' or that I just needed to 'be louder' that's really not helpful for someone who generally gets nervous in social situations and isn't as forward as others. Even with my friends I'm the one who will listen more than talk and I'm finally learning to accept that I will never enjoy being the centre of attention. There's nothing wrong with liking your own company and it's nice to see that a lot of other people feel the same!
    -x-

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    1. Thank you so much Charlotte! You've hit the nail on the head there, I think that introverts are always labelled as loners or people who are socially inept (although to some extent, I'm that too :P). At primary school, my school report would always say 'Michelle is a very quiet pupil who enjoys her own space.' hahah! My parents must've been so worried about me! I'm much more content with sitting right back in my little circle of friends, letting another take the front seat and just listening in, too! xx

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  43. Ah gosh, I feel very much the same in that I find I can't talk to a lot of my friends about things I'd like to...so I blog about them instead! I'm very shy, although I think I get away with hiding it quite well with nervous chatting, but I'm still terrified when faced with situations outside of my comfort zone! It's horrible!:(

    I am completely happy to, to admit that most of the time I enjoy sitting in, blogging or reading, rather than going out and making a 'twat' out of myself! BUT I do wish I would become a more confident, independent person ready to take on the world!! Maybe one day^^

    xx

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    1. I think I'm always worried that people just don't care about what I'm saying to them? At least online, you never expect people to listen, face-to-face, it's scary and frustrating when people ignore you and talk right across you, which happens to me allll the time! I'd much rather be in my own company, not feeling awkward or annoying to others! xx

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  44. Can I just say even though you feel like you're invisible I'm sure that isn't the case at all.

    I'm an introvert but I've somehow trained myself not to be. It's tough. I hear myself laugh loudly or make raucous comments and I hate myself for it, as it's just not me. I'm not loud, I'm not confident and I'm definitely not raucous. It's like I become someone else. I wish I could feel comfortable being on my own and happy in my own skin but I'm always constantly trying to be something I'm not and it's exhausting.

    Posts like the one you've just written reassure me that it's fine to be the quiet one, it's ok to not like clubbing or going to bars and most importantly that it's fine to just be yourself. Maybe one day I'll achieve the art of just being myself and and hopefully I'll be a lot happier.

    I'm sure I'll hesitate before even posting this comment. Why is it that the things that come from the heart are the most difficult things to show to the rest of the world and even ourselves?

    Dannii x

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    1. Thank you for your comment Dannii (: I just always worry that whenever I'm saying something in real life, people aren't interested at all? That's why I adore writing, and why I adore the Internet hahah. I'm much, much happier now that I'm comfortable with being in my own company all the time, and going out once in a while to see people.

      Being on my own recharges me in a sense? And I still adore spending time with groups of friends, but being 'the quiet one' who doesn't take charge in the conversation (: You should be proud to be who you are, which I'm sure is thoughtful, conscientous yet opinionated. Just take the time to let the quiet sink in, which is what I did for three years! xx

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  45. Brilliant post Michelle! I'm the same, after a long day at uni or work I am more than happy in my room by myself watching some tv or reading (maybe napping). There's such a stigma still surrounding introverts, but even though I do enjoy a good night out, most of the time, I prefer my own company, or just the company of my housemates. I find that if we go out a lot, it almost becomes a chore, and it should be fun right? Sometimes it can be lonely, so that's when I call a friend or go out and meet up with someone.
    There's nothing wrong with being introverted, and to be honest, right now working on my CV and gaining as much experience as possible is what I'd rather be doing than drinking one too many.

    Lovely read,
    Nicola xxx
    nicolabooklust.blogspot.com

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  46. Iam exactly the same every bit of it.....it was like you were reading my mind. I honestly enjoy lazing around my flat watching tv, catching up on blogs/YouTube TVB and enjoying food at home and eating out....not to forget the shopping. Work tires me out so much so I would rather stay in than to socialise...my other halfs the same and he keeps me company!

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  47. I would never think of you as shy. Every time I've met you you've been so chatty. Maybe it's because we've either been one on one or in small groups but for me you're like the go to person! I get so scared coming to London sometimes and always look for you to rely on, a familiar face :) xx

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  48. I enjoyed reading this post as it was very relatable. I think as you get older (particularly when working full-time or hard at uni) it's easier to admit that you prefer you own company and there's less of an expectation to be out every night "ON IT LIKE A CAR BONNET!" (my very extroverted friend recently shared that she was surprised to be content by herself while everyone was busy).

    I'm a bit of a balance between the two and like to live a part-time existence of socialising and solitude. It's quite hard for people to get their heads around as I'll unintentionally be a bit uncommunicative for days on end which I can see being confusing! xx

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  49. Aw Michelle. There is definitely nothing wrong with being an Introvert. Although I do socialize with work colleagues and uni friends, I am very closed to myself and I find it really hard to welcome that specific person in my life. Whenever people decided to go out for a drink or party, I am the first one to say 'Hey, I'm heading home to catch up on things' but those things are the things I do on my own and to tell you the truth, I love being on my own! LOL. Funny as it may sounds, that's only because I don't think people have understood me the way I understand my self, we all got to learn to be out own best-friend first before we branch out in an open world to become an extroverted kind of person. I've always TRY TO change to be an extrovert kind of person, and to be honestly, I don't feel as happy TRYING to be someone i'm not, so be comfortable with your self and you will lead a good and happy life :)

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  50. Definitely (another) interesting and thought provoking piece Michelle. I like that you can see how your character traits are positive to enjoy than allowing general presumptions and negative connotations affect your views.

    I would say I'm a bit of both. I like my own company, I sometimes find it exhausting to be sociable for long periods, but I also have periods where I crave company or socialising. Every so often I really **feel like** having a night out or being somewhere busy and enjoying a buzz.

    I also think that swinging too heavily towards intro/extroversion can be damaging to careers, particularly in industries where networking is key, because ultimately if your job or chosen career path is in particular focused on who you know, being able to moderate yourself to at least appear if not be comfortable to do the social stuff when necessary. It's something I'm still trying to get the hang of.

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  51. My idea of a perfect night in is being sat in front of the telly with a cup of tea (and a fair helping of biscuits!), catching up on blogs and reading. I've never been one for going out and partying, and when I was at uni all I did was work, go to the library, go to lectures and come home (nerd alert!) I'd much rather go out with friends (or the dream team!) for dinner, nice conversation and a catch-up than be in a club, surrounded by people I don't know from Adam and not able to hear myself think!

    I used to be so so shy when I was younger, but through working in an environment where I have to communicate well with people I don't really have a problem approaching anyone, and during my degree being able to work well with other people was massively important (that's what taking Drama does to you!) I think it all comes down to what and who you are comfortable with :)

    Great post my lovely!
    x

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  52. Love the post Michelle! Never be afraid to be who you are. Sure I did the 'go out and get drunk' thing at Uni but I now question why I even bothered. I spent money just to feel absolutely horrific the next day. Sure I have a few funny stories from nights out but I don't think I really gained anything from going out. My good friends from Uni are the ones who I would spend more time with sober anyway. I think it's incredibly mature of you to just do exactly what you want to do and not get swept up with the Uni hype. Nothing wrong with bring an introvert! xx

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  53. I wouldn't say that I was an introvert, but I definitely prefer staying in and reading blogs to going out. It's just so much hassle especially in London and I find that I end up going along with what others want to do and just wasting my money. I find that people want to go out just for the sake of it but in reality, I prefer meals out; you get more for your money, experience something nice and actually remember what happened the next day! The Uni setting can be particularly annoying, there's a lot of pressure to be sociable and go along with the herd. I've made the decision to go out when I want to and if that's only once a month, then so be it, i'd rather spend the money on clothes! I definitely like my alone time but equally I'm comfortable in a crowd or at Blogger events. I love having so many blogger friends (you included) who understand that it's not strange to spend an evening on Twitter and going through Google Reader. At least you're doing something productive that's in some way related to your future career!

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  54. There isn't much I can say to this that differs from what others have said, apart from I understand you so well! I'm pretty much in the exact same situation as you. I've always been someone who needs to be on my own to 'recharge', and I find it so interesting how others say their way to chillax and wind down is to go out to a bar with friends. I do really enjoy socialising, but I'm just as happy sat at home on my own surrounded by my dogs like a mad poodle lady. I'm just about to finish my 1st year at university, and I think I have been 'out out' maybe 4 times all year, I find being in huge groups of people really mentally exhausting! It's really nice to read that someone like you who I admire, also feels the same way! x

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  55. I like being sociable and going out dancing with my friends but recently I have been happiest curling up on the sofa with my boyfriend in our new flat watching TV together and just enjoying spending time together without everyone else (I come from a BIG family) although I go a bit stir crazy if I am completely on my own for ages...

    Maria xxx

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  56. Hi Michelle, stumbled upon your blog and noticed this post... thank you for sharing :) i'm very much the same and i love / need 'me' time to recharge myself. x

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  57. I love this post! I would also label myself as being introverted. I love spending time by myself and recharging. I do enjoy spending time with friends if its shopping or going for a meal, but when it comes to going on a night out I just cant do it, its just not me, in fact my friends don't even bother to ask me to go out anymore. A lot of them don't understand, including my ex, as they're all very outgoing and love to go out every weekend drinking. I used to think maybe I was just odd but now I've realised that you don't need to be an extrovert to be happy :) xx

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  58. what a lovely post. you know i'm exactly the same as you so i completely understand <3

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  59. I've kept meaning to comment on this earlier but I've been surprisingly busy this weekend, at least for me anyway! I am exactly the same as you, Michelle, I much prefer my own company to the company of others (apart from maybe my pet bunny haha!) and I find most social situations to be pretty exhausting. I always feel like I have to put on a persona to try and fit in with people, especially the sort of people I came across at uni, y'know, that good old all-drinking, all-partying and not much else crowd! It just became so physically and emotionally draining trying so hard to keep up with people and live that whole "student lifestyle", I mean don't get me wrong, I do enjoy getting dressed up and having a few drinks and dancing the night away, but when that is surrounded by all of our generation's social conventions, such as "banter" (am I the only person who just sees this as an excuse to be as offensive as possible without having to deal with the consequences?) it becomes so much harder for me to enjoy even the genuinely fun aspects of socialising. I mean I'm shy and awkward enough as it is without everyone being so judgmental all the time haha! I think that was one of the main contributing factors towards my decision to leave uni, I think until I know myself well enough and have the confidence to be comfortable doing what I want to do and not feel like I should be trying to fit in all the time I will probably stick to mainly my own and my family's company, but on the plus side it means I get to concentrate on the things I'm interested in like fashion and blogging!

    Anyway I think it's great that you've brought this issue up, I think there's plenty of us introverts in the blogging world and we all need to realise, myself included, that it's okay to want to do our own thing and not worry about what everyone else is thinking all the time!

    everybody else’s girl
    xxx

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  60. I totally understand - sometimes I'm ridiculously sociable but then I snap & massively need me time & just to be on my own for a few hours, I'm glad you posted :) xxx

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